Monday, 16 July 2012

Necessity or Not?

Necessity or Not?

As I sipped my morning Cappuccino attempting to wash away the cobwebs of my mind, 
I began my usual sleepy plan for the day ahead.

'Things that I have to do today...' I started to write in my notebook. 

But on this day, there was a word in there that caught my attention. A word that niggled at me.


A word that we are programmed from a young age to often dislike.
Our parents, our teachers and our elders may have used it often, and after a while we began to prickle and fight against it.
'Have to' started to feel like it always came from an authoritative figure - an order, so much so that we often began to rebel against it.
Even into old age that word still results in a negative reaction in many.

Simply using that word on yourself will push you further away from what you want to achieve.
Your unconscious programming picks up an all the other memories and connotations that are associated with it, 
and signals to your conscious mind to steer well away.

So... is there a better word that I could use?

I could say........ 'need' or 'should'.....but they sound quite similar to 'have' don't they? 
Do they all stir up similar emotions or reactions in you?
Do they cause your skin to prick or the hairs on the back of your neck to tingle?

So maybe, instead... how about.....

'Things I want to do'...... that sounds so much better to me anyhow. That results in me grinning and giggling!

'Have' to or 'want' to? 

Some are a necessity, some I guess not quite as pressing, however, 
the things I 'have' to do are no-where near as enticing as the things I 'want' to do.

Although, when we actually start to analyze it thoroughly, how much of it is a 'real' necessity?

Of course, you may have to go pay some bills at times, do the shopping, clean the house....occasionally... (-: 
And what if you did all these things with gusto instead of distaste, how much better could that be?
Do we need to be miserable doing things, just because we have given them the title of a 'chore'?
Well, how about we take the title away and just choose instead to enjoy the experience.
Is it that easy? I fully believe it is. In fact I know it is.

(Read my blog on 'Choices' if you haven't yet!)

Can you think back on a time that you enjoyed an experience that at many other times you might dread?
For example, shopping for a dinner party you are hosting with your best friends coming.
Paying the final bill off a long standing loan.
Emptying out a spare room to make room for your new swanky pool table.

What was different on these occasions? Why did you enjoy it then?

It was simply, your frame of mind at the time.
How you had prepared yourself mentally. How you viewed it.
How you had anticipated the event in advance. In a more positive light.
You had programmed your mind to enjoy the experience because it was an event that you gained something from.
Excitement & anticipation had led you to enjoy something that at other times seemed mundane.

So, what if the next time you need to do a job you are not so much looking forward, 
you search for something positive about doing it instead?

It could be something as simple as, the fact that you have the money to go shopping, 
you could be grateful for the choices you will have in picking out all the lovely food you want to eat.
Or, concentrating on the feeling of pride you get when paying your way and sorting out a bill. 
Or, the satisfaction of a job well done after cleaning your kitchen and the beautiful fresh smells that invigorate you.

There are endless examples, it is up to you to re-train your mind to dwell on these thoughts.
You will find it becomes easier and easier a lot quicker then you think!

Back to now then, what are you doing?

Are you sitting at a desk right now, reading this, trying to conjure up some magical inspiration,
rather then maybe doing something you think you 'should' be doing?

Wouldn't it be great if you were always actually doing exactly what you wanted to be doing??

Reverend Howard Thurman put it like this, 

"Don’t ask what the world needs – ask what makes you come alive and go do that. 
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 
So.....I ask you now...the following..

What makes you come alive??
What would you do all the time, if you could?
What would you do, if you knew you could not fail?

Experience shows that these are very powerful questions.
Questions that sometimes, we do not ask ourselves often enough or sometimes...ever!

These questions serve a specific purpose.
They serve to direct the mind in the direction that you want to go.
The same way as when driving, you steer the car so it results in the arrival of your required destination,
so too, your mind is a tool that needs steering.
Without you at the wheel to control it, it may loose its way and end up knotted up and lost in the cluttered tumble weed of your brain.
"The brain can be developed just the same as the muscles 

can be developed, if on will only take the pains to train 

the mind to think." -Thomas A. Edison

Therefore, my suggestion is we use it and take control of our life's journey....

One of my favorite Richard Bandler NLP quotes is a great metaphor on this exact subject,

"The time to get the map is before entering into the woods."

So go get your 'map' right NOW and start planning your trip...
and remember to choose to always enjoy every step of the journey!

For more information & advice on how to get your map, 
call me on 086-3845299 or email
To your success,

Danielle  x

(Life Coach, Motivational Mentor & Certified NLP Practitioner)

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