and that always means one thing.... New Year Resolutions.
There was a time I always swore this year would be the year that I would stick to my guns and REALLY follow through.... but no matter how hard I tried I always seemed to fail and my goals for the year didn't manifest. Maybe you can relate? In fact it became so bad that not only would I not succeed with my goals I would in fact make it even worse! My guilt and disappointment in not following through would cause me to sabotage myself often with even more harmful results. Binge eating instead of the diet, not exercising at all instead of jogging daily and staying in side away from the world rather than face another rejection.
Does any of this sound familiar? Well, if it does, here's what I did.
I stopped setting New Year Resolutions.
Now, that may seem a bit of a cop out but let me explain what I mean.
I am not saying, sit on your laurels and become complacent. I'm definitely not saying I gave up on life.
What I am saying is that when I decided to be kinder and not put so much pressure on myself, things simply got easier .
says that if we focus on the 'lack' then we get more of that.
I definitely agree with this now and as you know (I have said it many times) ....
You GET MORE OF WHAT YOU FOCUS ON.
What changed was my outlook and hence the direction of my focus.
When you chose to see what you already have in your life then your mind opens, becomes more approachable for new possibilities. It expands so to speak and becomes aware of many things previously right under your nose.
The year things changed for me in 2010, I did in fact make a 'somewhat' list of resolutions,
and I will share it with you now.
In fact I would love if I really had the honor of sharing it with you and you in fact took these on as your New Year Resolutions. I promise if you follow these, your life will change.
1) Focus on the present and the future, not the past. 2) Be aware of my thoughts and acknowledge them as simply that, a thought, not necessarily fact. 3) Be kinder to myself. 4) Find the goodness in everyone I meet. 5) Be grateful daily for what I have. (More on this HERE) 6) Do something that makes me feel happy every day. 7) Bring a smile to someones face everyday. 8) Smile, laugh and love everyday. 9) Be authentic and be me!
As soon as I started this a new world opened up to me and new possibilities began to come my way.
This is my last post for this wonderful year 2014.
In the past 5 years I have had some of the most amazing experiences and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you and some others for coming into my life.
Here is a recap of some of the stuff that has happened....
Anthony Robbins, Raymond Aaron, Owen Fitzpatrick, Andy Harrington, John Lee and many more.
Amongst many other things I....
Overcame lifelong fears.
I painted again for the first time in 20 years and have since gone on to sell a huge number of them.
I published my first book, The Blackbelt Mastermind ! I founded my new Coaching business and launched the The Bootcamps!! I have spoken at numerous events with hundreds of people. I have watched peoples lives transform, thanks to what I have learnt.
For this I am so thankful and as well as the incredible names above that helped teach me what I now know, I would also like to thank some other very important people who have contributed to making me who I am today. Simply a girl.... but one who doesn't give up and knows now how to be happy.
'If you cant enjoy what you have, you cant enjoy more of it'....said the pompous sounding man on the stage. Easy for you to say.. I thought. You dont have my problems!
That year and that Christmas, five years ago now, was the worst one I had ever had. I had spent it alone in my house, with no heating and hardly any money, wrapped in a duvet and crying myself to sleep.
Two weeks later was my lowest point as I contemplated ending it all but wondered how long would it be before anyone discovered my rotting body. Believe it..... that was a turning point.
Six months on I sat in the second row listening to this man talking about how we are responsible for our own happiness. I had read his books and had found a lot of sense in what he said, Even still I had been skeptic to say the least of the benefits of actually attending his seminar.
Very quickly this melted away as I listened enthralled at the workings of our minds. This man was Richard Bandler (the co-founder of NLP) and he showed me a new, or rather, forgotten way, that I could choose to think. I discovered that I could choose to think in a more beneficial way once I realized and became aware of what I often did to myself unbeknownst.
I had simply being focusing on the wrong things. I had been focusing in the wrong direction! ;-)
I started to laugh again that day.......
You see... the moment you begin to laugh at your problems you then start to change chemically and once you allow dopa mine and serotonin the 'feel-good' drugs to seep in, then you allow possibility and a new perspective. Most of all once you are aware that YOU are in control and that you have choice you CAN choose to think a smarter way.
I chose not to be a victim ever again. I took back responsibility and that gave me back the reigns. You CAN to!
Mostly I realized, I had actually chosen to be that way on Christmas day. I had shunned friends and family and switched off my phone, pretending to each that I was with another. It wasn't that I was actually alone. I chose not to nurture relationships and I chose to feel sorry for myself.
Now I choose to be grateful and constantly remind myself of the abundance around me.
No matter what you are going through, you are NOT alone. There are people who genuinely would really love to be with you and would love your friendship. You are really blessed and loved.
The Secret of Christmas is ....... spend it the same way as with any other day! What I mean is...LIVE your life EVERY day not just one day a year where you make an effort to spend it with loved ones and to be nice. BE nice always and appreciate the little things! Being grateful and realizing that NOW is the most important moment - that is the secret (-:
Love, laugh and be thankful. Appreciate what you have and make the most of it. Share your light and your love freely... and be YOU. Now... I am going to share my love with my family and friends this year. Why? Because I CHOOSE to do so and focus on that (-:
I know you will too.
Thank you for your loyal support over the past year. Thank you to the wonderful people I have met and to those I have yet the privilege to meet. I am so looking forward to our journey together into an awesome 2015!
Thank you for being my friend and showing me I am not alone. Therefore neither are you, for we are in this small world together.
Happy Christmas and lets rock 2015!!!
Love Danielle xxx
Your Mind Coach 'Change your Mind and Change your Life!
When I was little, I used to love these magazines where they had a picture and I had to follow the guided number chart to fill it in. It would say…red in number 2 area and so on and so forth.
It was easy and helped me formulate the basis of my ‘staying in line’ skills.
But after some time, when I became really good at this, I started to get bored.
No longer did I look at the chart to follow.
I started to make up my own colour scheme for
the cartoon in front of me.
Then, I started to be really wild and I would cross over the line – on purpose – looking over my shoulder like a naughty pupil (-;
What I learnt then and I still believe to this day, is that...... sometimes we need a solid grounding, a base from which to start from.
Its just like learning the alphabet.
We start with the basics, A-B-C and then progress to CAT, MAT and SAT.
We start creating our own phrases and then by taking little risks, slowly but surely we can become more daring and these words can become our own original stories.
If we start off with baby steps, and slowly repeat and repeat, building our confidence More on how to build your confidence here! and adventurous muscle, then we can grow. I believe, sometimes ( actually most of the time) crossing over those lines is a good thing, in fact a great thing. In fact a necessary thing!
For without people who went that little bit over and peered over the edge…. without them, well… life would be boring, static, all the same. We would be robotic, like drones, filing to class or to work.
So, I say loudly and with wild abandon to you.....
Go peer at what’s out there. Test your boundaries and your comfort zone. Feel the excitement in a little discomfort and the unfamiliar. Colour over the lines and create your own new boundaries. Paint your future big and bold and bright and guess what… you never know what might happen… :-)
I have some questions for you that are proven to get you thinking differently to before :-)
Take some time, about twenty minutes to write down your answers.
Okay so… here goes….
* Do you have a big dream or dreams?
* Is it the same one as last year? Has anything changed to get you nearer to it?
* What is stopping you from going after it? Are your reasons REALLY impossible to overcome?
* If I offered you a million dollars to get it done in a certain time frame, would that change your perspective, belief, drive or motivation? Any clearer?
You see..... if you don’t have a road map or clear directions, how are you supposed to know where on earth your going?? Your dreams become much clearer once you start to focus on them. Be brave and bold and courageous! Start to chase your dreams so much that they try to put a restraining order on you (-:
* Take clear and decisive steps.
* Ignore negative and small minded people.
* Write down your goals and pin them everywhere.
* Tell as many people as you can and shout it from the roof tops.
* Most of all do something every day, consistently, no matter how small, that brings you a little closer to it.
The 4 easiest mistakes you make to STOP your progress -
1) You Settle -
You EXPECT less and you start to believe that this is all there is to life and that you should just be happy with it.
This does NOT mean APPRECIATING every day and being GRATEFUL for what you do have in your life. In fact doing a gratitude list daily actually causes you to want more and get more... because you start to expect good things and look out for them. * If you surround yourself with mediocrity then you will settle for that. * You deserve to have all that you can and all that you can is what you deserve. * Deciding that you 'should' simply be happy with your lot is an immediate stopping point.
(Read my Article HERE on The Top 10 Things that Unsuccessful people do)
*ALWAYS be grateful BUT never believe you HAVE to settle!
2) Think Small -
You don't dream anymore. As you know by now - you get more of what you focus on. (More about FOCUSING on the good stuff here) SO... focus on the good stuff, expect it to happen and it will. If you play it safe and Stay in the familiar and never feel Fear you will never grow! And if you put yourself down and Insult yourself ...HOW is that helpful?
*Ask yourself better questions. ALL the time!
3) Over exaggerate -
You expect you have to do too much -You think its all or nothing. You exaggerate the outcome and the worst scenario. Always watch carefully for any Generalisations, Distortions or Deletions in your thinking. This will help you think more sensibly and beneficially.
Inaction is the sure-most way of halting progress. Action breeds action and the same is true for inaction. As one of my favourite martial arts quotes says.... 'He who hesitates, meditates in a horizontal position.' Just like with the 'fight or flight' response, inaction causes paralysation, whether physical or mental. DO SOMETHING - ANYTHING!
*Take one little step every day and you will be amazed when you look back at the change!
A client and friend of mine recently said; 'He was STILL struggling with a negative voice occasionally'.
Well, allow me to tell you 2 BIG SECRETS......
1) That negative voice will continue to pop back in now and then...BUT.... 2) You do NOT HAVE to believe it!
Thoughts are simply that remember. Simply thoughts! It does not mean they are a FACT! YOU can CHOOSE how you deal and react to that thought and if you want to choose to believe it or challenge it.
I chose to do that this week again when those voices popped in. I have been working on my next book- a fantasy Novel (all about good and bad and how our minds work). I sent it to a couple of folk to read, nervous of what they would say. BUT I did it anyway... I also have been painting and preparing for a very small exhibit of my paintings and occasionally a little doubt still creeps in.
Let me be CLEAR. I KNOW I am not the best painter in the world..... BUT what I make sure to bring to mind OFTEN is... That I LOVE it and it makes some people smile.
That's all that matters, isn't it?? ;-) After all just like the quote ....
Keep feeling awesome and striving to help others feel so too!
Lots of love and good thoughts, Danielle x Your Mind Coach
Oh yea... and here is my latest pic, the inspiration for my next book! You see just like you I also feel doubt occasionally but I can CHOOSE to believe you will love him as much as I do! Thank you xxxxxx
* There is some exciting stuff coming for YOU very soon!!!* Oh and if you want the ULTIMATE 2015 for you or your loved one, or both....CLICK HERE! I guarantee you will truly benefit from this and I promise to give you my ALL xxx
Recently I was pontificating on how to reach a certain milestone in my business.
I was chatting with my partner and I asked him his opinion.
I asked him what he thought I should do so as to become better known as the 'go to person'. The one that people could find easily when they were looking for help.
I was feeling frustrated and in a hurry to go global! lol
He mentioned how much things had changed for me in the past few years but I was still feeling impatient. He asked me what had I done so far?
I reflected on this and replied that besides the obvious practical stuff, like websites, some SEO and all that techno stuff (all good practical stuff) really I had not done much else.
'Really?' he asked. 'So how have you got clients so far?'
'Well', I replied.. 'I have just been myself'.
I shrugged and he looked at me with a meaningful glint in his eyes.
That's when I copped it! He's much smarter than me, you see! :-)
And I'm the one always preaching about 'trying'!
You see, I don't have to 'try'. I just have to 'be' me!
Pay special attention to this!
If you 'try' to be something then your not being authentic.
As long as you just 'BE' you than all will go smoothly. Once you start to try to be something your loosing your 'self'! My successes have all come about without 'trying'. When I was at my most natural, fired up with passion and belief and an inner fire that's when I have achieved transformation with my clients.
When I worked from a place of authenticity and integrity that's when others passed it on and spread the word for me!
The same goes for you.
My gift is simply being 'me' and yours is being 'you'.
This is MUCH deeper than it sounds!
Think about it :-)
How much more authentic and real are you with others when you are NOT trying to BE something but just simply BEING you - This is your gift to others. Have the courage to let go and be yourself.
I'm not talking about learning and honing your skills and knowledge or improving your visibility with social media etc. All this is valuable and useful. I'm not talking about wanting to improve your life or aspiring to better things. Dreaming big and taking action is what I'm all about! Every time you experience or learn something new you are stretching your knowledge and hence your ability to manifest.
I'm talking about what you GIVE to others at any moment. Are you giving YOU or someone you think you should be.
Your gift is to be authentic. Your gift is to be YOU...and in return you will get many gifts from others.
Anyway, he made it thanks to his brother and my Hero Macchi.
Macchi didn't 'try' to be anything. He just was and used his gift.
Everyday he gives me this gift by loving me unconditionally and filling me full of joy and love.
Can you do that for someone today??
Love unconditionally and share your gift and you will get back so many more!
My Hero... Macchi!xxx
Anyway... my last Blackbelt Mastermind Bootcamp was another great success with some incredible people. I made some wonderful new friends also and witnessed some marvellous transformations. So truly grateful to have these opportunities to help change lives and make life long friends.
Often, I find the people that come to me for help affect my life also. This is what I mean by your GIFT.
I am touched daily by the love, kindness and trust that you put in me and I really hope that I do you justice in return. I promise you I give you my all....
One such person that has made a HUGE impression on me and has truly touched my heart was a lovely lady that came to me for help but I feel she has given me even more than I have given her.
I have learnt a new found strength from just knowing her and it has given me renewed vision and clarity in what I do. I believe if you surround yourself with such genuine shining people such as this lady we can do anything.
Her name is Carol Brill and 'brill' indeed she is.
Some of you may know her from one of my recent Bootcamps or through the incredible group Irishbizparty.
Anyway, I am now looking for your help on this! Please read the following link and support her in any way you can and help make her dream come true! http://www.gofundme.com/seeingdisney
Please read, share and support and use the #seeingdisney on Twitter! Lets make a difference in this world today. Lets use our gift and allow her this opportunity to use hers.
Thank you for reading, Love Danielle xxx
Your Mind Coach 'Change your Mind and Change your Life!'
What you think I do versus what I REALLY do to LIVE FULLY!..
I will start with some random sentences :-)
I'm just not good/smart/good looking enough. I'm just a bad person. I'm a failure. It's easier for him/her/you. I just cant help it! I cant go on. There is nothing that can be done. You just are who you are. Some people have it and some don't. Its down to luck. Its down to circumstances. Its hard to explain. You just don't/cant/couldn't understand! I cant live without him/her. My childhood is the reason for why I am like this. If my parents had been different things would now be different. If I had money/looks/brains/luck... things would be different. Its easy for you to say!
The list could go on and on......... have you heard any of these before? More specifically, have you ever used any of these yourself?? Be honest. Well....let me tell you a little secret.... I have used them ALL and many, many, MANY more! I am admitting this for a reason - an important one.
We are ALL the same. There is NO difference between you and I or anyone else in this world. NONE! YOU are just as capable of leading a successful, happy life as anyone else and the ONLY thing that may be stopping you from having what you want is......YOU!
I know this may sound cold, harsh and uncomfortable. Believe me when I say I also did, when someone said it to me....BUT it was a BIG wake up call and if this post does half of what the realisation did for me, then I am happy to make you uncomfortable! As I have said to anyone that has experienced time with me...my job is not necessarily to get you to like me. While I hope you will, I will take that risk so as to get results with you. My job is to get you to SEE the truth before you! Making changes and motivating yourself is not easy but its also not as hard as you think. Yes, any change is frightening. I was paralysed with fear at the start, But I FINALLY realized, when I was at my lowest point, that nobody but me was going to save me! NOBODY!..... I cant save you either but I can help you.
Once I finally really accepted this I was able to take response-ability. I made the decision to CHOOSE my responses. So...... instead of blaming everybody else, society, the economy, my parents, my friends, my partner, my dog, the weather and the bloody kitchen sink...I chose to respond differently. This gave me CONTROL and you can do it also.
YES YOU. You REALLY CAN!
YES, listen to that voice in your head right now. If it is saying you cant, tell it to just shut up! I am serious. Do it. How about you say something else for a change?? Why not? What have you to loose?
Okay, here is the crunch. I don't ALWAYS wake up with a grin on my face and feeling amazing. Sometimes I still wake up tired, unmotivated and even depressed. My life isn't perfect. I have problems too. Then why...you may ask am I preaching about self development and all this stuff??
Because my life is perfectly imperfect and I now accept that. In fact so is everybody's! That's the funny thing. Once I started working with people, I soon realized everybody has the same fears, no matter who they are or how successful. The difference is they just continue on anyhow. I'm not a robot and I am not super human. I am just like you, a perfectly imperfect and in so being a perfect human being. (Yes, I know I'm confusing also!)
What I mean is, I now accept that I wont always feel fantastic or that everything will be perfect BUT.....I can PLAN for what I will do to make it the BEST that I CAN! This is the difference!
I used to be a victim - now I am the choreographer of my life. It has taken a while and I have to remind myself occasionally but I constantly PLAN for how I will make my day a success. So...even though you may think I just wake up every day with a crazy grin on my face (well sometimes I do) I always do the following -
* I make a list in the morning of what I PLAN to be grateful for that day! YEs I future plan my gratitude!
* I also recap at night what I was grateful for that day.
* Any time I feel fear, I ask myself good questions to see if I am being illogical.
* I push myself daily beyond my comfort zone. Sometimes that may mean the smallest of acts and sometimes it can be huge. I allow myself the respect to choose for the day depending on my mood.
* I take time out, even if for 5 minutes, to respect myself and breathe deep.
* I am aware of emotions that will hinder me, like anger or jealousy. I instead ask how does this serve me until I am able to find a better solution.
* I spend time with people who help me feel good.
* I make sure to appreciate every day that I am alive and I have the power to control my destiny.
We all have a choice in how we live our lives. I spent 36 years living in the past and in denial. I plan to spend the rest of my time living life to the full!
That may be simply eating a yummy cake with gusto or cuddling my dog... or going swimming in my knickers with him in the sea!
(The picture above is where I swam the other eve!) or....it may be pushing my comfort zone even further and stating publicly I am going to do a parachute jump as it is my biggest fear!
I overcame my fear of spiders and snakes with all this mind stuff...
More about overcoming fear here ....That four letter word.
lets see if it really works with hurtling through space! lol ....so watch this space!
If you feel you are holding back and not really living life, I implore you to take action right now!
Sit up straight, push your shoulders back, take a deep breath... now imagine you did not have that limiting belief (yes the one you are thinking of) If that was gone what would change? Imagine that now and stand up and DO something different today. Massive changes take massive action.....but it starts simply with one little step.
An incredible world is waiting for you and so am I. I would love to hear from you.....