and that always means one thing.... New Year Resolutions.
There was a time I always swore this year would be the year that I would stick to my guns and REALLY follow through.... but no matter how hard I tried I always seemed to fail and my goals for the year didn't manifest. Maybe you can relate? In fact it became so bad that not only would I not succeed with my goals I would in fact make it even worse! My guilt and disappointment in not following through would cause me to sabotage myself often with even more harmful results. Binge eating instead of the diet, not exercising at all instead of jogging daily and staying in side away from the world rather than face another rejection.
Does any of this sound familiar? Well, if it does, here's what I did.
I stopped setting New Year Resolutions.
Now, that may seem a bit of a cop out but let me explain what I mean.
I am not saying, sit on your laurels and become complacent. I'm definitely not saying I gave up on life.
What I am saying is that when I decided to be kinder and not put so much pressure on myself, things simply got easier .
says that if we focus on the 'lack' then we get more of that.
I definitely agree with this now and as you know (I have said it many times) ....
You GET MORE OF WHAT YOU FOCUS ON.
What changed was my outlook and hence the direction of my focus.
When you chose to see what you already have in your life then your mind opens, becomes more approachable for new possibilities. It expands so to speak and becomes aware of many things previously right under your nose.
The year things changed for me in 2010, I did in fact make a 'somewhat' list of resolutions,
and I will share it with you now.
In fact I would love if I really had the honor of sharing it with you and you in fact took these on as your New Year Resolutions. I promise if you follow these, your life will change.
1) Focus on the present and the future, not the past. 2) Be aware of my thoughts and acknowledge them as simply that, a thought, not necessarily fact. 3) Be kinder to myself. 4) Find the goodness in everyone I meet. 5) Be grateful daily for what I have. (More on this HERE) 6) Do something that makes me feel happy every day. 7) Bring a smile to someones face everyday. 8) Smile, laugh and love everyday. 9) Be authentic and be me!
As soon as I started this a new world opened up to me and new possibilities began to come my way.
This is my last post for this wonderful year 2014.
In the past 5 years I have had some of the most amazing experiences and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you and some others for coming into my life.
Here is a recap of some of the stuff that has happened....
Anthony Robbins, Raymond Aaron, Owen Fitzpatrick, Andy Harrington, John Lee and many more.
Amongst many other things I....
Overcame lifelong fears.
I painted again for the first time in 20 years and have since gone on to sell a huge number of them.
I published my first book, The Blackbelt Mastermind ! I founded my new Coaching business and launched the The Bootcamps!! I have spoken at numerous events with hundreds of people. I have watched peoples lives transform, thanks to what I have learnt.
For this I am so thankful and as well as the incredible names above that helped teach me what I now know, I would also like to thank some other very important people who have contributed to making me who I am today. Simply a girl.... but one who doesn't give up and knows now how to be happy.
'If you cant enjoy what you have, you cant enjoy more of it'....said the pompous sounding man on the stage. Easy for you to say.. I thought. You dont have my problems!
That year and that Christmas, five years ago now, was the worst one I had ever had. I had spent it alone in my house, with no heating and hardly any money, wrapped in a duvet and crying myself to sleep.
Two weeks later was my lowest point as I contemplated ending it all but wondered how long would it be before anyone discovered my rotting body. Believe it..... that was a turning point.
Six months on I sat in the second row listening to this man talking about how we are responsible for our own happiness. I had read his books and had found a lot of sense in what he said, Even still I had been skeptic to say the least of the benefits of actually attending his seminar.
Very quickly this melted away as I listened enthralled at the workings of our minds. This man was Richard Bandler (the co-founder of NLP) and he showed me a new, or rather, forgotten way, that I could choose to think. I discovered that I could choose to think in a more beneficial way once I realized and became aware of what I often did to myself unbeknownst.
I had simply being focusing on the wrong things. I had been focusing in the wrong direction! ;-)
I started to laugh again that day.......
You see... the moment you begin to laugh at your problems you then start to change chemically and once you allow dopa mine and serotonin the 'feel-good' drugs to seep in, then you allow possibility and a new perspective. Most of all once you are aware that YOU are in control and that you have choice you CAN choose to think a smarter way.
I chose not to be a victim ever again. I took back responsibility and that gave me back the reigns. You CAN to!
Mostly I realized, I had actually chosen to be that way on Christmas day. I had shunned friends and family and switched off my phone, pretending to each that I was with another. It wasn't that I was actually alone. I chose not to nurture relationships and I chose to feel sorry for myself.
Now I choose to be grateful and constantly remind myself of the abundance around me.
No matter what you are going through, you are NOT alone. There are people who genuinely would really love to be with you and would love your friendship. You are really blessed and loved.
The Secret of Christmas is ....... spend it the same way as with any other day! What I mean is...LIVE your life EVERY day not just one day a year where you make an effort to spend it with loved ones and to be nice. BE nice always and appreciate the little things! Being grateful and realizing that NOW is the most important moment - that is the secret (-:
Love, laugh and be thankful. Appreciate what you have and make the most of it. Share your light and your love freely... and be YOU. Now... I am going to share my love with my family and friends this year. Why? Because I CHOOSE to do so and focus on that (-:
I know you will too.
Thank you for your loyal support over the past year. Thank you to the wonderful people I have met and to those I have yet the privilege to meet. I am so looking forward to our journey together into an awesome 2015!
Thank you for being my friend and showing me I am not alone. Therefore neither are you, for we are in this small world together.
Happy Christmas and lets rock 2015!!!
Love Danielle xxx
Your Mind Coach 'Change your Mind and Change your Life!
When I was little, I used to love these magazines where they had a picture and I had to follow the guided number chart to fill it in. It would say…red in number 2 area and so on and so forth.
It was easy and helped me formulate the basis of my ‘staying in line’ skills.
But after some time, when I became really good at this, I started to get bored.
No longer did I look at the chart to follow.
I started to make up my own colour scheme for
the cartoon in front of me.
Then, I started to be really wild and I would cross over the line – on purpose – looking over my shoulder like a naughty pupil (-;
What I learnt then and I still believe to this day, is that...... sometimes we need a solid grounding, a base from which to start from.
Its just like learning the alphabet.
We start with the basics, A-B-C and then progress to CAT, MAT and SAT.
We start creating our own phrases and then by taking little risks, slowly but surely we can become more daring and these words can become our own original stories.
If we start off with baby steps, and slowly repeat and repeat, building our confidence More on how to build your confidence here! and adventurous muscle, then we can grow. I believe, sometimes ( actually most of the time) crossing over those lines is a good thing, in fact a great thing. In fact a necessary thing!
For without people who went that little bit over and peered over the edge…. without them, well… life would be boring, static, all the same. We would be robotic, like drones, filing to class or to work.
So, I say loudly and with wild abandon to you.....
Go peer at what’s out there. Test your boundaries and your comfort zone. Feel the excitement in a little discomfort and the unfamiliar. Colour over the lines and create your own new boundaries. Paint your future big and bold and bright and guess what… you never know what might happen… :-)